Dr Seuss Overdose

I read AJ books,
We don't watch much TV
To prevent her becoming
A cute pink zombie.
So we read books about Fuzzles
And books about Woozles,
And how one can best tame
A Hullabanoodle.
We practice our As,
Our Bs and our Cs.
We read books about counting
Our one, twos and threes.
These books drive me loopy,
They'll make me go mad
But I read and I read
'Cause it makes her feel glad
So I read and I read
And I read still more drivel
But when hubby comes home,
You can bet that I snivel
"It's YOUR turn right now,
Yes it's YOUR turn I think.
As for me, I'll go out
And I'll have a stiff drink
I'll forget Dr. Seuss,
I'll get loose as a goose
I'll drink 'til I can't tell a man from a moose!"
"It's wishful thinking," said he.
"It's wishful thinking, this drinking.
You're knocked up, you're pregnant.
You're with child, silly, see?
"A pedicure then, or a wax or a bob.
But I Must MUST go out." I said with a sob.
"She's an angel." I said.
"But this day's been too tough
And an angel we know, me?
Not so much."
I'm losing my marbles,
I've lost half my brain
My intellect I suspect
I will never regain.
So I ran out the door
As if I were chased
By the Cat in the Hat in some really weird race
A pedicure? A bob?
A quick trip to Reno?
I thought as I grabbed a San Pellegrino.
Barnes & Nobel, I thought,
As I dashed out the door.
Oh why had I not thought of that one before?
What a joy it would be just to wander the aisles
To browse and to shop with my odd little smile.
Kid free, thought I, YEAH!
No more reshelving books
Torn by sweet little hands
from their little book nooks.
Without chasing a toddler,
What books could I browse!
On knitting! On cooking!
On husbanding cows!
My time I enjoyed with decaf cappuccino
I gave up all thoughts of escaping to Reno.
So then I came home,
My sweet angel in bed,
And the hubby with more
Grey hairs on his head.
And what had I bought with the almighty dollar?
More parenting books 'til my husband did holler.
"How many more books can we have?" Questioned he
as I showed him one on the best use of T.P..
"Potty training's important!" Protested I.
(I should have bought him a book on how to tie flies.)
What he doesn't know,
What he doesn't yet see
Is the stash in the trunk
Of books, not for me.
A new book about Fuzzles,
And more about Woozles
And more ways to tame a Hullabanoodle.
A new book about letters D, E, and F,
And a video about a puppy named Jeff.
My sanity returned and we crawled into bed
I have joy in my heart, and thoughts in my head
That we'll read, and we'll read,
Maybe more than I oughtta
'Cause I really do love my sweet baby daughter.



copyright 2005, Evelyn James