Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Need a new Costco

Thursday. Doug leaves for hunting. Nothing unusual...

Ina started throwing up within hours of his leaving. This lasted all night. At least she had the good grace to throw up on his side of the bed. I encourage his hunting, but the prospect of having all three kids puking was not something I was looking forward to while he was gone.

I had to keep her home from school, but I was also out of soy milk -- the only kind Annabelle drinks. I was also out of thickener, and with her issues, all her liquids have to be thickened. So considering that within hours I could easily have all three kids and/or myself worshipping the porcelin goddess, I decided we should go to Costco, buy the "going west" pack of thickener and a couple of cases of soy milk. With these supplies we could hunker down with buckets and towels until daddy came home. At least that was my plan.

Angelina had kept breakfast down for a couple of hours and the window of opportunity between waking and Annabelle's nap was closing. I loaded them up in the car. About a mile from exit for Costco, Angelina started moaning. No matter how many times I say "use your words" in situations such as these, she persists in just moaning. And what an insensitive mother am I that I bark at a wretching kid "USE YOUR WORDS!" I have experience with car barfing as I had very bad all-day-sickness with each of my pregnancies.

I had a cup from the prior day's McDonald's run in the cup holder. I dumped the left over soda out the window. If you've ever done this at freeway speeds, you not only piss of other drivers, but a goodly percentage winds up all over and back IN your car. Annabelle wound up with a soda shower. Angelina managed to puke IN the cup and I figured that the episode had passed and was probably the last one. Yeah, right.

She obviously felt better, and I was still in a pickle about the soy milk and thickener, so I figured we'd soldier on to Costco. Apparently she really DID feel better as I heard "Mommy, can I try that?" as we walked past all the samples. WHAT was I THINKING? Sure enough she starts feeling punky. I had two kids in the shopping cart so I put her in my back pack. I know it's weird looking, but she still fits at nearly seven years old and isn't much past the 40 pound weight limit.

I rushed to the check out and was loading the groceries on the band when I heard -- you guessed it -- moaning. The kid is STRAPPED TO MY BACK! I had no plausible deniability. ("that's not MY kid puking over there") I couldn't just get out of line, half the stuff was on the band. Of course because she was behind me, I couldn't see how bad off she was. I asked her where her cup was (we'd brought it in from the car) and instantly the expressions of nauseated sympathy of those around me turned as they realized that I had come prepared and thereby KNEW she was sick.

I heard a splash.

There was puke on the floor, on her boots, on me, and a little in the cup. If it weren't that it would have pissed her off, I would have laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. The bagger was NOT happy as he came over with rubber gloves on and a roll of paper towels. I quickly loaded everything else, paid and made for the exit.

Lexie, seeing that we were fleeing Costco as if my butt were on fire, shouted "But Mommy! Why aren't we stopping for a hot dog?"

I am definitely going to a different Costco for the next few months!